What is success? Money? Nice cars? Big houses? Maybe a yacht?
To some, however, success is none of those things. For some, success is being a great parent. Being where they hoped in their career. Getting married to the greatest guy or girl in the world.
But is this true success?
In each case, success is stated as a destination. It is a place we have reached in our lives that we are satisfied with. Success seems to be defined by many, if not most, as a physical spot on our mental map.
You see, like Tony Robbins has so eloquently stated, we each have a blue print that we have constructed throughout our lives.
This blueprint was formed by things we saw as children, tragedies we’ve experienced, tragedies we’ve witnessed, interactions, things we’ve read, and all things in between.
This blueprint dictates our happiness. If specific aspects of our lives do not match our blueprint of that aspect, we become unhappy. The further away this blueprint becomes from our actual lives, the more we hurt.
On the flipside, if we have surpassed this specific aspect of our lives, we are exceedingly happy. Hell, we are overjoyed.
To put things into perspective, let’s take marriage as an example. If you always pictured being married by 30, and you were married by 28, when asked, you are going to talk about how happy you are relationship wise (generally speaking). You see, you not only match your mental blueprint of your relationship status, but you exceeded it by getting married before that “deadline” you had set.
The same with your finances. Let’s say your blueprint for success was making partner in your firm by 40, and you made partner at 35. When asked about your success in this area, you are going to be through the roof talking about it.
On the flip side, if you wanted to be married by 30 and you’re now 37, when asked about it, you are going to be depressed. Unhappy. Downright sad. To put it bluntly, you will not feel “successful” in this area of your life. You will feel pretty unsuccessful.
This is the same when it comes to any and every aspect of your life.
Success as a State of Being
To find true success, we have to see that it is not a place. It’s not money. It’s not being married by your ideal age. And no, it’s not a yacht. Granted, a yacht would be pretty cool, but it really doesn’t define success.
Because success isn’t a destination. It’s simply a state of being.
Once we can honestly define our mental blueprint, deconstruct it, and see it for what it truly is, we can shape it. We can bend it to our will. And where we can’t change our blueprint, we change ourselves.
First, ask yourself these questions honestly. No one knows better than you what in your life you feel successful at. On the other side of the coin, you need to be honest about what you feel unsuccessful at.
Write it all down. Experience it. Once you have this information down, you’ll begin to see a picture of your mental blueprint that defines your happiness through dictating what you consider success.
Once you have this blueprint on paper, you can see where you can change expectancies – NOT SETTLING, changing unrealistic expectancies to realistic and achievable goals.
Where you see that you can reach certain goals, that they are realistic and attainable, you will know where to change yourself.
Once you begin to align your blueprint with your life, you will see what has been making you unhappy and feeling unsuccessful all along. Better yet, you will begin to feel happier and more successful.
So, you see, success isn’t really a place. It’s not a matter of obtaining material things, achieving personal goals, or a final destination. Success really is a state of being.
Once you achieve this alignment, you will truly and deeply feel satisfied, happy, and ultimately – successful.